Translating Borges

I'm losing my sight, like Borges. 1964, is composed of two elegiac sonnets in Spanish (perhaps in Argentine dialect, almost entirely like traditional Castilian Spanish). Because translating the poem directly as sonnets in english would be pointless I tried to transmute the aesthetic. In part 1 I do my best to maintain a continuity of sound--Borges top-loads rueful images. In part 2 the rhythm is almost entirely lost--as it closes, in the second half, I wanted the poem to be slightly more dissonant.
The image of life (the aesthetic structure of the poem) remains, but the sound (representative of metaphysical representation itself), unravels. I doubt this would meet with Borges' approval, but, in a sense, we are aware of the same things--kindred spirits.

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